construct a statue of Caleb Williams in every city using garbage in landfills

 

The purpose of this bill is to reduce the amount of trash that is building up in Minnesotan landfills while also

taunting rival sports teams which many minnesotans might find charming. The bill if passed would create an agency called

the "Bureau of Bears Crushers" and their responsibility would be to work with the Minnesota polution controls agency to

use trash found in landfills and dumps and recycle it into statues.

 

The Vikings are Minnesota football team and despite their poor preformance are still a very important part of many

people in minnesotas lives. Therefore to erect statues of Caleb Williams using recycled trash would be a lighthearted

jab towards the chicago bears and would likely improve the moods of many Minnesotans. Furthermore the Bureau of bears

Crushers would source its trash from local dumps and landfills which would help reduce pollution for many towns which

may not have the means to dispose of trash on their own.

 

- "every city": this phrase means that the bill will only apply to any city that contains a dump or landfill as reported

by the Minnesota Pollution Conrtol Agency.

-landfill: A state designated area to dipose of garbage.

-Dump: an illegal duping ground for garbage.

-"hospitality tax": A tax the state puts on the US Bank stadium when other teams come to play at the stadium.

 

The funding from this bill will be primarly sourced from the "hospitality tax" and in return the publicity from the

statues may help with US Bank Stadium ticket sales. There will also be a tax levied on junkyard owners in minnesota to

maintain funding for the Bureau of Bears Crushers. Finally Bears jerseys will become an exception to Minnesotas policy

of no clothes tax, the tax gained from the sale of Bears merchandise will also proceed to funding the Bureau of Bears

Crushers.

 

The Bureau of Bears Crushes will be in charge of enforcing the construction of the Caleb Williams statues and if a town

disagrees to having the statue erect then it will lose state aid until they apply to the Bureau of Bears Crushers terms.

 

This bill will take effect beginning January 1st 2027.